Posted in Clinical Depression

Gray Day

*Rainy Days and Mondays Get Me Down* (No? Anyone else sing that song to themselves when it’s gray outside? Anyone else know what song that is? No? Ok.)

Cloudy days just really get to me. Do they get to everyone? I’m surrounded by a pretty cheerful husband who rarely lets anything get him down so I am not sure if it just me or not!

I know my Grandmother has told me about SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder), it’s part of her clinical depression and causes her depression to get worse if the sun is not out or does not come out for a couple days. She has something called a “Sun Lamp” which to me is just a really, really bright lamp.

People have ACTUALLY laughed at me when I’ve told them about SAD. “Oh everyone gets a little down if the sun hides for awhile.” Well it doesn’t have to hide for awhile. If I wake up and its gray and cloudy I immediately have a rough time. It’s harder for me to get out of bed, take care of myself and get anything done.

It’s hard enough dealing with clinical depression but gray, cloudy days make me want to just crawl under the covers and try again tomorrow. today_has_been_rejected_try_again_tomorrow_square_sticker-r9a2dd00551564251af3d2538e24c1b7e_v9wf3_8byvr_324

^Totally how I feel^

I just really, really hate that I feel this way. I don’t want to have clinical depression and SAD. I really, really, really would LOVE to be a “normal” person who can just choose to be happy. I wish it was that easy for me. I hate feeling like this. I hate being mopey and sad and depressed. If you think I choose to feel this way, I really wish I could give you a gray, cloudy day in my shoes. I really wish my brain would work right.

I can’t think of a happy, positive way to end this post today. Just know if you’re going through the same thing, you’re not alone. Don’t give up. Don’t quit on yourself. There’s always tomorrow.

xoxo

nikki

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Just a wife, foster/adoptive mama, fur mama and small business owner sharing her life!

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