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Hasta La…Never 2017

Goodbye 2017! Good Riddance! Don’t come back! See ya never!

I’m not one to usually say “oh i’m so glad 2017 over” but THIS YEAR I am so glad to see 2017 go! I’m ready for a new year!

Highlights from this year:

January: Found out we were chosen for the boys, went to visit them and ALL OUR STUFF WAS STOLEN OUT OF OUR HOTEL!

February: Waiting on paperwork to bring the boys home, found out we MIGHT have to redo our homestudy, FBI background checks and fingerprints (ended up not having to redo anything)!

March: Boys came to visit! Found out that the state was nowhere near ready to send them to us. Put my Grandpa in a Memory Care Home for the first time, along with that comes having to deal with accepting his Dementia.

April: Still waiting for paperwork.

May: Paperwork goes through! The move in date is set for the end of May. My Grandma brings my Grandpa home from the Memory Care Home. This brings along new challenges.

June: Boys are here! Getting used to each other, they meet their grandparents, great-grandparents and uncles. As well as trying to make sure my Grandma is doing okay with my Grandpa.

July: Start having problems with D’s attitude. He runs away. Grandpa is moved into another Memory Care Home, it’s closer but I don’t like it. It smells like a nursing home and the nurses are rude.

August: Problems get bigger. He is now disrespectful and refuses to do anything we tell him. He won’t go to the doctor and we are not allowed to force him to do anything. He runs away again. He comes to us and tells us he wants to go home and will we buy him a plane ticket. He lies about everything and Q starts lying as well. I have had enough of his disrespect and we yell at each other, I leave the house and try to drive my car into a ditch and die. My husband talks me down and we realize we can’t live like this anymore. We tell our caseworker we need to disrupt. Boys go back to their home state. While dealing with all of this, my Grandma and Grandpa move out of state so my Grandpa can go into a VA home. My own father doesn’t call me for my birthday, never acknowledges that I called him for his birthday or Fathers Day, and reaches out to both of my brothers on my birthday and not me. Cue a lot of tears in August. (August was a rough month).

September: I relive that story over and over again having to tell it to family members, friends and neighbors. I cry a lot. I know we made the right decision but I am sad it didn’t work out. Caseworkers and agency NEVER reach out to make sure we are okay. The good news is that my grandfather is doing well in the new home although my grandmother is having a hard time.

October: Still getting over the fact it didn’t work out. Halloween at the store so that keeps us busy.

November: Vacation for me to see my brother get married! Was a much needed break! Enjoyed getting to know my new sister-in-law! However, my father is there and doesn’t acknowledge anything about the boys, doesn’t ask me how I’m doing, hasn’t called me since August.

December: Holidays are upon us and that makes me happy and sad. This was supposed to be our first year with kids. We were supposed to start new traditions. I’m starting to deal with the fact that my biological father wants nothing to do with me, which has been hard because I worked really hard to try and repair our relationship.

I guess you can see why I’m ready for next year! I just want to put 2017 behind me. Yes, I grew a lot. I am thankful for the growth I went through this year. But I am also ready to move forward.

Cheers to 2018!

xoxo

nikki

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Just a wife, foster/adoptive mama, fur mama and small business owner sharing her life!

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