A little over a year ago (October to be exact-ish) we inquired about the boys for the first time. What a year it’s been.
We inquired about them in October. Didn’t hear anything until November when we were told they were “taking us to the HART meeting in December”. But first they had to try to find a family in state. They did a Wednesday child on the kids. The HART meeting was pushed back to January. We waited. And waited. And waited. FINALLY: WE WERE CHOSEN. Happiness. Tears. Happiness.
We immediately flew out two weeks later to meet them for the first time. The moment I saw them, I cried. They were so small and cute. We had lunch the first day, then just hung out with them the next couple days (I’m not going to go into details but if you want to read about it, there’s a blog back in Jan or Feb. where I detailed our first trip). Our hotel room was robbed and we went home with no stuff but lots of memories.
We were told the paperwork wouldn’t take long. A couple weeks. But their caseworker put in a request to send them to visit us “just in case”. The paperwork took forever and they came out to visit in March for a week. It was a crazy, wonderful week. Then they went back.
“Paperwork shouldn’t take too much longer.” Yeah, right. 2 1/2 months AFTER they came to visit (so 5 MONTHS after we were chosen) the paperwork finally came through. After a lot of snags, thinking we were going to have to have our fingerprints and home study redone (yeah that really happened)! And what seemed like forever, they were finally coming home.
THEY WERE HERE! And we were over the moon happy. We were overjoyed, overwhelmed, crazy. Every second was new. We jumped in with both feet. We freaked out (mostly me). We cried. We celebrated. We laughed. We gave those kids every thing we could, everything we had. They meet the rest of our family (their new family). Q LOVED GRANDPA. Literally, I have never seen a child connect with someone that quickly. He followed him around everywhere. He listened to everything Grandpa said. He quoted Grandpa when Grandpa wasn’t around. He had just met him and he LOVED him. I literally cannot explain how much he loved him.
We put them in sports camp so they could be around other kids. We went to therapy every week. We taught them how to ride bikes. We played basketball. We played video games. We celebrated my birthday. My first birthday with kids.
It was right after my birthday that things started going downhill fast with D. We’d been struggling with his behavior but after that event it got way worse way fast. He’d already run away once but after my birthday he ran away twice more. He just looked at us and walked out the front door. He refused to go to the dentist and there was nothing we could do about it.
One day he came up to us and said, very calmly, “Will you buy me a plane ticket? I want to go home.” We were stunned. Our caseworkers told us it was normal but I didn’t believe that. See, when I was ten my parents moved us to Idaho and I was miserable. Hated school, hated living there, begged everyday to go home to Colorado. I NEVER got used to it. I was miserable until we moved back. So, I saw the truth in his statement. I realized that some of his acting out was because he was miserable and he was NEVER going to get used to it out here. He was refusing to put down roots and if he wouldn’t put down roots then it would never work. He would never be happy out here. (This was only PART of our decision. There were behaviors that we couldn’t deal with and there was my mental health we had to consider as well).
Making that decision wasn’t easy but as soon as it was made, the relief washed over us. Relief that we were doing the right thing, relief that God was with us, and relief that we were all going to be all right.
What a year it’s been! You know how people will say “I can’t wait to see 2017 go, 2018’s going to be my year” or something like that? I’ve never been a person who says “Good Riddance” to a year. There’s always something I’ve learned or something that’s been good about that year.
This is the first year I can ever remember saying to myself “I’ll be glad to see this year go.” Mostly because it didn’t turn out how I wanted. This was SO NOT the way I saw this year going. This was supposed to be my first holidays with kids, FINALLY. And it’s not.
It has been a REALLY long year. I can’t really believe all that we’ve gone through in the last year. It seems like it should be longer than just one year. But nope, just in one short year we’ve been through all the above.
Well, I’ve rambled on long enough and don’t really have a good ending to this blog today.