Going through an adoption disruption is like sailing the sea. You’re up, you’re down, sometimes you’re barely holding on. Your emotions are waves. You have good days, you have bad days. Sometimes you don’t know if you can hold on anymore. When that feeling hits you, there’s one person you need to lean on: God.
Maybe you’re not religious, you don’t go to church (I don’t), maybe you don’t even read the bible. It doesn’t matter to Him. He is always there, waiting for you to bring your troubles to Him.
Knowing God has a plan is one of the only things that has gotten me through this process. (The other is my amazing hubby). I have fallen to my knees A LOT. I know that one day all of this will be explained to me but right now I just have to TRUST & HAVE FAITH.
This adoption disruption was part of God’s plan. He has a bigger, better plan for the boys & for us. We weren’t meant to be a family. Yes, that hurts. Yes, I wish we could have been. The one thing I think people over look is that WE DID LOVE THOSE BOYS. But love does not make a family. We couldn’t love their bad behavior away. We couldn’t love their trauma & their loss away. It takes so much more than that. We tried our best and it wasn’t enough.
We are better for knowing the boys. They are better for knowing us. But God has a bigger plan for all of us. I believe it with all my heart.
If you’re going through the same thing, just know that God’s plan is bigger and better than you can ever dream. He is there, He will always be there. He never leaves us.