I need to do a major update but just don’t feel like typing it all today.
I’m so sick of everything. But mostly the waiting. I’m sick of waiting for the contracts. I’m sick of waiting on the negotiations. I’m sick of waiting for approval from EVERYBODY. I’m sick of answering questions.
Most of all, I’m sick of not having my kids here. The connection with them was so immediate. The bonding so easy. They are my kids. And I want them to be home. I’m sick of not knowing who they’re with. What home they’re in. Where they are. I’m sick of not being able to skype and see their adorable faces.
I’m sick of it all. And very complain-y apparently. I just feel so alone lately. I love my husband but his approach is more laid back and calm. He doesn’t worry about these things. It will all work out the way it’s supposed too. And I know that too but it doesn’t stop me from worrying or thinking about these things.
We spent 3 days with the kids. 3 days and I am bonded to them. There is not a second of the day that I don’t think about them. Wonder what they are doing. If they are ok. If they think of us. If they remember us.
Adoption is worth it (you will never hear me say otherwise) BUT it is hard, frustrating, and upsetting. It is not an easy process. It will test you in multiple ways. It will tear you apart and put you back together. You will get SO SICK of paperwork and answering the same questions over and over again.
I realize that the time will fly by but right now I am just so.over.it.