I have done more research about the adoption process than any other time in my life. I never did this much work in high school! I soak up everything I can adoption-related. Blogs. Books. Podcasts. Youtube videos.
I really love to read through “real-life” blogs. By that, I mean blogs that deal with the dirty, hard stuff not just the “life is great and everyone is happy all the time lalala”.
I KNOW adoption is hard. No matter where your kids come from they have suffered a HUGE loss. The loss of their biological family. That IS going to affect them. Maybe not now but it will at some point. I’m preparing for that. I’m preparing for the hard stuff. The screaming, the yelling “I hate you, I want my real parents”.
I feel like we’re ready. We are definitely ready to be parents and I think we are prepared to be adoptive parents. We have the most important tool: love. No matter what else, our kids will need love. They will need love especially when they are screaming “I hate you”. They will need our patience, our support and our never-ending love.
The other day our caseworker called just for an update on how we’re doing (the waiting is getting old but other than that great:) ). And we were talking and she was just reminding us how there will be a honeymoon stage but THEN the kids will try us and push us and it will get hard. I appreciate the reminder. But sometimes it would be nice to hear that even though it will be hard, IT WILL BE WORTH IT. I’ve read/studied enough that I’m ready for it to be hard. I know it will be hard. I also know it will be worth it! It would just be nice to hear someone else say it every now and then!
Here are two books I’ve read/currently reading:
(I got the recommendations off a blog and if I could remember which one I would absolutely give them credit)
No Matter What by Sally Donovan-
(Read this with a box of tissues). This is her true story of dealing with infertility, going through the adoption process and raising two children. At times I felt like she was taking the words out of my mouth. Especially her struggle with infertility and turning to adoption. I felt like she was writing MY story. I couldn’t put it down (which worked out well since hubs was out of town and I was all alone for the weekend) and ended up reading it from start to end in about two days. If you do decide to read this one (and I highly recommend it) just know going into it that it is EMOTIONAL. It will bring your emotions to the surface, you will cry and by the end, you will feel like you were on her journey.
The Unofficial Guide to Adoptive Parenting by Sally Donovan-
I have barely started this one (by barely I literally mean I read the first 3 pages). The holidays have kept me busier than I thought and I haven’t had time to pick this one up and read it yet. I am really itching to read it seeing as how No Matter What was SO good but family/work have kept me too busy.
Aside from those two specific books, I haven’t found any others that seemed worth reading yet. I don’t specifically follow any adoption blogs, I mostly just google “adoption blogs” and read a blog from this site, a blog from that site but when I find some worth sharing I definitely will!
Hopefully in the next couple days I’ll get to sit down and write a current update about where we are in the process but no promises!!