*This post was written June 2016*
The second time our caseworker came was for the individual interviews. Each one of us would spend an hour talking to her by ourselves.
Well, wouldn’t you know we each took TWO hours?! I felt bad that she was at our house for FOUR hours!
When she first began, she apologized again for all the questions and digging she was going to have to do. Home studies are thorough. The state wants to know everything about you and your deepest darkest secrets. It’s understandable although frustrating. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about how when you get pregnant no one cares about your past, how you’ll raise that child, your discipline methods, your religious views, political views or how your house looks.
Anyways, we began. And even though I’m pretty open about my past and childhood, I still cried a little bit! We talked through my childhood, my parents divorce, my struggle with depression, my teenage-hood and all of that took two hours! She was sweet as could be and at the end of it all thanked me for going through all that and how hard it must be to bring all that up. In my head I was thinking “Nah, I’m okay, no old wounds opened up here!” But the next day, I woke up and everything just flooded me. It really WAS hard to be so open and talk about so much. I hadn’t realized how much of that I had locked away and never thought about.
The cherry on top though was at the end when she told me that everything I’ve been through was good! That the state looks for people who have struggled with loss and different things. That those people can relate more to these children in the system. The state doesn’t want people who haven’t suffered or been through anything because people like that often can’t relate to these children. I was, and am, pleased to hear that!
The next visit is about parenting and our discipline views so this should get interesting!